Jumping ship!

Hi! If anyone out there still reads this neglected corner of the internet.

I've jumped ship and gone to Wordpress. Yikes. It's all a bit scary and new over there, and my blog is currently the ugliest thing ever, but if you enjoyed reading this one, please update your links and now visit:

alicecordelia.wordpress.com

As I can promise you similar things. Perhaps a little less K-Pop. Perhaps.

But, yes, do me a favour PLEASE and read it in Google Reader or something? It makes me want to cry a little bit the way it currently looks...

See you in Wordpress, I hope! xxx

Cheers, big ears

Observation post: Dongho of U-Kiss has recently become one of those people whose face I can't get enough of. It's a tricky thing to describe: I don't necessarily crush on them, but I could sit and stare at their faces for hours and love every minute.

When totting up the rest of my 'godiloveyourface' list, I realised they had one obvious feature in common. Feast your eyes on this lovely bunch of jugs:

♥Dongho♥

♥Serge Gainsbourg♥

♥Eric Elmosnino♥

♥James Stewart♥

♥Jeffy G♥

♥Taecyeon♥

So there we go, observation over, realisation achieved. If I meet you and you have big ears, please don't be offended if I stare, it's because I'm loving your face. (Secondary: big noses. This probably says something disgustingly Freudian about my subconscious.)

I AM BEING CHEATED OUT OF MY BELOVED WINTER

I don’t think anyone realizes quite how much this mild November is distressing me. I get rolls of the eyes and little jokes about how I’ll be moaning once it’s cold. Not the case, my friends.

True, I have always been a lover of winter. As a child I used to have ‘First Frost’ parties with my stuffed toys. (Too much information?) I love Winter and everything that comes with it – the cosy dark evenings, the appreciation of the warmth of a hot drink, the possibility of fantastic knitwear and bobble hats, wintry food and above all, the magical effect of ice and snow and frost.

 In recent years, I’ve come to accept, perhaps even enjoy Summer - this summer especially – basking in the South of France with a cold beer and the sound of cicadas was blissful! But being hot enough to melt my Twister off its stick in October? Something is not right! 

Every mention of ‘Indian Summer’ sends a little wave of misery into my brain and every time I step outside and it’s warmer than my house my heart sinks a little. I’ve become obsessed with weather forecasts – the first thing I do every morning when I wake up is check the 7 day forecast for the new day on Weatherbug. And Accuweather. And Metcheck. And BBC. And Met Office. I am a woman obsessed. Juan left for work at 7:30am without a jacket on. The anxious nausea forms a fist in my throat once again.

14 DEGREES ON SUNDAY? *heart sinks again*

I’m not unhappy because it’s sunny, I’m unhappy because it’s sunny and I’m sweating in my coat. If it was sunny and I could see my breath misting in front of me and my feet were crunching on frosty grass, I’d be joyous!

Perhaps the excessive snowfall of the last two years has lulled me into a false sense of security. And if I really cast my mind back, we’ve had many mild winters. But I am still deeply unsettled by the fact that climate change is beginning to have a real effect on this country, and we can’t ignore it. The snow that I loved so much was also, unfortunately, a climate change omen.

 I’ll never forget when I worked at the Duke of York's, a man complained about our lack of patio heater on the outside balcony. When I told him it was bad for the environment, he retorted ‘I don’t care! I’ll be dead by then!’. Brilliant. It’s terrifying that this is the attitude of so many people in the world. You might be dead, but think about your children, or your families children, or your friends children – they’re going to have to cope with it, and I don’t want my fear of living in a shack in the woods telling my grandchildren about ‘electricity’ to become real. It doesn’t take much to start making a difference. Unplug your chargers. Turn your TV off standby. Turn lights off when you’re not in the room. 

Seasonality is natural, we live in a temperate climate, and our seasons should be regular and well defined. Let it be 30C in August, and 5C in November. Let the sun beat down on my head in July and the wind freeze my nose in December.

So, until that first frost comes and my breath is visible 24 hours of the day, I’ll be scuttling home from work and staying inside roaming the frozen wastes of Skyrim and fooling myself that the climate outside matches the climate on the screen… obviously, with all lights off and chargers unplugged.

See you when the Mercury drops, outside world!

Dear T.O.P,

This is a quick one, but, I have to ask - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? How can we have moved on from the glory of this:

to THIS:

So many questions, so many mistakes, I don't know where to start. Are you BAREFOOT in those loafers? Is that embroidered stars on your jeans leg? Are you wearing a 'doucheneck'? The jacket is good, I'll let you off there, but then we get to your hair. (GD: you're doing slightly better, but only slightly).

All I can hope is that you decided going back to brown was a big mistake, you want the white quiff back (glad you listened to me on that one), and this is a transitionary hair colour. I did have this exact shade on my head for a while so I understand how hard it is to get your hair white from black, but haven't you got some sort of amazing stylist noona who can bypass the brassy mad scientist stage?

Send me her address and I'll send her some of this:

Of course, it could be that you've decided brassy mad scientist is the hottest new look for you.

In which case, I have nothing more to say to you. You circa January 2011 can say it to yourself.

K-pop Summer Holiday Top 5. Ok, 6.

This time in 2 weeks I will be sunning myself and relaxing in Portugal, not stressing out over writing training handouts and not getting annoyed by my OCD landlord's passive aggressive tendencies. (I KNOW the recycling is every second Tuesday, you don't need to post a print out of the council's recycling schedule through the door just because you happened to spot our recycling bags were full when you let yourself in UNANNOUNCED this morning when I was rushing to get to work and was half dressed.)

ANYWAY.

This holiday will be amazing, but K-Pop will not be featuring as heavily as my last holiday. To make up for this, here's my K-Pop poolside lounging top 6, because cutting one of these out to make 5 was too hard. These are songs suited to be listened to in the sun, sipping a mojito. If I'm lucky, Fran & Susan will let me play a couple at some point during our vacation. I'll wear them down. I've made sure to pick songs that also have great videos - a aural and visual treat!

f(x) - Hot Summer

As seems to be the case with most K-Pop I end up loving, I wasn't sure about this the first time I heard it. Maybe because I heard that SME bought the rights to the song which was originally performed by cheap and nasty German girl band 'Monrose'. But surprise surprise - they've put their magic K spin on it and it worms its way into your head like the Ceti Eels from Wrath of Khan. They've made a great MV with some excellent outfits, borrowed the tank from GD & TOP's video and painted it pink and black, and done some brilliant choreography involving what I can now only think of as a 'crotch airing' dance, thanks to eatyourkimchi. Oh, and points for a fantastic pronunciation of 'sun-ger-lass'.

Hyuna - Bubble Pop

Oh Hyuna. Hyuna Hyuna Hyuna. I loved Change and I love Bubble Pop and I love you, despite the fact I strained my groin attempting your Change dance and that you sort of disappointed me with your cheap American R&B stylings in this video...but absolutely no denying how great this song is, even with it's seemingly unrelated dubstep section (starts at 2:20). Actually, if I'm honest, that's probably why I love it so much. Almost 11,000,000 views on YouTube. That is ridiculous.

2NE1 - I am the best

2NE1 remain my top girl group and only cement that fact with their MVs. Too much awesome stuff happening - Misfits jacket, horn hair, baseball bat, kitten, PVC, drums, giant pyramid, guns, ridiculous extensions... worth watching again and again. Seriously, would a western girl band ever be allowed to let loose with weaponry like they do at the end?

Catching up with Hyuna, this has over 9,000,000 views on YouTube. The Hallyu wave is definitely on the move.

Not a still from the above video, but CL = mega-hyper-super-babe. ♥♥♥♥

GD & TOP - Don't Go Home

A real grower, and stands out from your average K-Pop as something a little refreshing and different. Plus - how the hell did I not see this MV until a couple of days ago? It's one big swoon from beginning to end! The outfits, the setting, the dancing, TOP's political style rally and his amazing white hair that I mourn the loss of... another YG video hit that never hit the spotlight due to its content being too 'sexual' - only because the lyrics are a boy begging a girl not to go home and to stay the night with him. Who would say no to GD?

I couldn't have put it better myself, TOP.

T-ara - Roly Poly (Copacabana version)

I thought the original Roly Poly (and it's 12 minute MV)  couldn't be bettered. Wrong! Cut it back and make it sound even more like it's from an early 80's film? Ok! I love the pared down school uniform and sweatsuit dancing in the video for this version. Maybe it's because they almost look like normal girls - although I'd never look that amazing in a maroon tracksuit.

If I'm ever going to get Juan even slightly interested in K-pop, this is how I'm going to do it. So Italo! I bet if I played this to him without telling him it was K-Pop he'd like it and play it at his new club night. A girl can dream.

Dalmatian - That Man Opposed

Pure happy sunny joy from beginning to end, and so many great outfits in the video that I lose count. Bless Youngwon and his curly blue hair. And I've decided that having a dalmatian in the video is ok, despite the fact it's a bit naff because they're called Dalmatian. It's a good excuse to get a dog in there.

A line-up of win. Apart from that white dress on the far right. You're letting the side down, boring girl.

And as a summery finish, why not feast your eyes on the sickeningly attractive flesh parade of SNSD and 2pm in the MV for 'Cabi Song', an advert for 'Caribbean Bay' resort.  CRAZY SUMMERTIME. Bad idea actually, now I've watched this again I have decided there is absolutely no point in wearing a bikini ever again. Damn you, Korean girl-idols and your surgery/hours of gruelling dance practice enhanced limbs!

(over 11,000,000 views on YouTube, I wonder why.....)

A catalogue of crushes, part one: the possibly-too-young-to-be-crushing years.

I've never swooned over the usual celebrities. When my friends were squealing about Take That I was too busy reading Redwall books, I couldn't give a toss about Leonardo DiCaprio and I only liked the Backstreet Boys because I could play 'Backstreets Back' on the piano. But this didn't mean I didn't swoon over boys in my childhood. They just weren't the ones you'd expect...

1992: Gambit

(I forgot how awesome the theme and opening credits were!)

Yes, Gambit from the X-Men animated 90's cartoon was my first ever celebrity crush. Hello internet, I have no shame. I was obsessed with the series when it was on TV, and was especially taken with the Gambit & Rogue romance. I was 7 and completely naive about all aspects of love and romance, and yet I knew that I wanted to be Rogue and be Gambit's girlfriend. I think perhaps I wanted to be Rogue more than anything else. She was so sassy! She had awesome hair and could fly in the air in a tight pink dress and slap a Sentinel robot to the ground. A good role model, I think. Embarrassing fact: I used to run on the spot really fast in the hopes that I could get leg muscles like Rogue's. Unsurprisingly, this didn't work.

Swoon factor 2011: non-existant. His red-eyes creep me out. However I do still like the Cajun drawl, and I am annoyed that he's been sidelined in the films. Besides, who couldn't love 'off duty' Gambit?

Backcombed wedding Gambit.

80's lounge lizard Gambit.

Ski-slope Gambit is my favourite.

1994: George Harrison

You're going to notice a theme in this post - obsession. I didn't just like things when I was younger, I loved them, I immersed myself in them completely. And the Beatles were one of my main childhood obsessions. I taped the whole of 'the Beatles Anthology' off the TV and watched it over and over. I had a scrapbook dedicated to them, watched Yellow Submarine a hundred times and listened to their tapes until they broke. George was my favourite Beatle from the get go. George, then Ringo, then John, then Paul. In fact, I liked George so much that I hated Eric Clapton purely because he 'stole' Patty Boyd away from him. That lingering hate still remains.

Swoon Factor 2011: There's no denying that in the 60's he was a mega-babe, and he aged well. Apart from the lung cancer. Poor George. You'll always be my favourite Beatle. And you wrote most of my favourite Beatles songs.

1996: Crispian Mills

Kula Shaker's debut album was released in 1996 which means I was only 11 when I was swooning over this floppy haired hippy and forcing my parents to listen to Govinda in the car on repeat on the way home from the Supermarket. Turns out I still know all the words despite having not listened to it in at least 10 years. My Kula Shaker love coincided with my incense burning, hippy skirt wearing period (Tie-dyed, ankle length with mirrors and bells on). I had a book about Kula Shaker and used to swoon over the glossy photos of a pouty Crispian. Whilst burning incense and listening to Tattva. Oh dear. My world was turned upside down when I read an interview with him in Melody Maker and he said 'fuck'. He swore! Oh my! My crush officially ended on that day.

Swoon Factor 2011: No no no. No thanks. Too posh and blonde (and sweary?). And according to his Wikipedia page, his nickname is 'Dodge'. Which is what I wish I'd done to Kula Shaker in the first place.

(1996: Honorable mention: Tommy Scott)

"Who lives in-a-housea-likea-this?"

I obsessed over Space as hard as I obsessed over Kula Shaker, which meant a vague non-sexual crush on Tommy Scott, even with his terrible teeth and scouse accent. I crafted a cardboard pencil case for myself with their logo on it and stickers from NME all over the insides. My classmates were envious. Probably because it had compartments inside for rubbers and pencil sharpeners.

Swoon factor 2011: Doesn't even get a look in. What was I thinking? And why did I love Space so much? I can barely listen to him sing without getting nauseous.

1997: Taylor Hanson

Taylor Hanson, confusing teenage boys since 1997.

Probably the most 'standard' crush on this list. My desires for Taylor Hanson were brief and fleeting and innocent in the way that fitted the fact I was only 12. He was 14 and long haired and American (and really, really did look like a girl). I wanted to hold his hand, walk along beaches with him and goof around with him and Zac and... what was the big one with braces called? Isaac? There can't be a Zac and Isaac surely? Wikipedia tells me it was Isaac. Somebody's parents weren't particularly original...

Swoon Factor 2011: He got married when he was 19 and now has 4 kids. He's also now in a band with people from Cheap Trick, Smashing Pumpkins and Fountains of Wayne. 

Daddy Taylor. I never pictured this in my crush.

1997?: Eric Idle

'...whose wife is a very attractive table lamp...'

Again, quite fleeting this one, but strong whilst it lasted. I can't remember exactly when I was crushing on Idle, but I know it was around the time me and Dave used to sing 'The Penis Song' in music lessons. I'm not sure why I picked him as my Monty Python favourite...I wish I still had the fan art I drew of him somewhere. It would blow your mind. Anyway, here's 'best era' Eric Idle with his lovely floppy hair:

Swoon factor 2011: I'm more of a Palin/Chapman girl nowadays, but vintage Eric still has a little place in my heart.

1998: Adam Buxton

Now, we've got to my teenage years. Adam was enough of a crush for me to have pictures of him glued inside my school folder. The Adam and Joe show ruled my world for a couple of years, I used to have all the series on VHS taped off the TV and watched them more than was healthy. I still can't watch Fight Club without thinking of 'Tufty Club'. Sometimes I can't refrain from saying 'I'm going now, BYE!' a la Ken Korda. And I still know all the words to the Robert De Niro song:

Swoon Factor 2011: HE'S SO SMALL! Why didn't I fancy Joe instead? No swooning anymore, but I still love love love Adam and Joe. I never thought they'd be going strong 13 years later, but they still make me laugh until I cry/splutter mirth out of my nose on a bus whilst listening to their podcasts. And...their songs are still great:

And there we go! I've truly aired the dark recesses of my confused, puberty stricken mind.

Coming soon...a catalogue of crushes part 2: The 'Kerrang' years. Be excited.

It's Skin!

       

On a lunchtime detour into Superdrug today I was a little overexcited to discover that Garnier have released a 'miracle cream' containing cult asian product 'BB Cream' . The BB stands for ‘blemish balm’, and it was originally created to help repair the skin of laser surgery patients. It’s otherwise known as 'the secret of Korean actresses', and appears as an ingredient in many various Korean skin creams. 

If I had a spare £10, I could have bought it, slipped it in my quite unattractive handbag, and when I returned to the office had a slow motion catfight over it with my colleagues a la 4minute…

…or I could have tried some on in the shop, then been so busy rushing back to work I would’ve run straight into SHINee, my glasses tumbling to the floor. Thanks to the BB cream they would see me as a goddess & follow me back to work, ‘helping’ me with my filing and staring at me in a creepy/romantic fashion, before Key manhandles me and drags me away, probably to the girls toilets to put on our BB cream together...

…or I could have had a series of skin cream related mishaps with occasional homoerotic undertones…

…or, I could have just bought it, taken it home, used it, and be underwhelmed that it didn’t instantly make my skin as flawless and wonderful as that of a Korean pop star. Sigh. 

ME AND JJH WENT TO FRANCE

AND IT WAS AMAZING.

A selection of highlights: ♥ The sun ♥ the warmth ♥ the amazing fruit ♥ my first fig ♥ French Brie that actually tasted good and not like rubber ♥ French pastries bought from Carrefour and surreptitiously eaten outside by a bin ♥ beer and picnic on a pedalo in the middle of a beautiful blue lake ♥ Jess' mum & stepdad and how accommodating and generous and lovely they were ♥ beautiful flowers ♥ getting back into reading ♥ Jess' mums incredible salads ♥ beach picnics ♥ Jess' incredible blue velvet bombshell swimsuit ♥ coffee ice cream ♥ visiting Rosie in her film star villa ♥ making a tit of myself in the pool in Rosie's film star villa ♥ 'playing' badminton at Rosie's film star villa ♥ hot tubbing it in Rosie's film star villa ♥ Cicadas ♥ the sound of Scops owls at night ♥ Frejus market & it's tapenade and fougasse ♥ croissants and coffee ♥ black kites ♥ Almond Coffee & finally meeting 'Dids' ♥ Carambar ♥ Skyrock radio ♥ laughing like a goon on the outside Gym ♥ not getting burnt and instead getting a bit of a tan ♥ and most importantly, spending 5 days in the company of one of my best and most cherished friends ♥ 

Here is a poor selections of photos from my iphone, as I was too poor to buy a new memory card for my real camera. (seriously, XD cards, so expensive.) Two mistakes I made on this holiday that I will not make in Portugal: not taking a proper camera, and not having bikini bottoms. Whoops.

I wish we could always go on holiday together JJH ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm a bad, bad blogger.

Why am I such a bad blogger? A number of reasons.

• I'm actually really lazy when it comes to making positive, 'extra-curricular' output. Couple this with the fact that I'm unable to stay awake beyond 11pm most nights and you can start to see my problem.

• My new job keeps me busy all day...no more time for procrastinating. It's safe for me to say (now I've left) that in my last job I had so much unwanted spare time that I did a lot of my blog writing during my working day. I also had access to the wondermachine - all in one A3 printer scanner copier of joy. We don't even have a functioning photocopier in my new job. 

• I really like spending the evening watching a film or a series, and Juan and I are currently steaming our way through Twin Peaks season 2. Now, what would I prefer, doing some writing or watching Duchovny in a dress...? (side note: People really will get a tattoo of anything)

• One of my biggest problems is that I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to blogging. I feel very uncomfortable writing this in one go and posting it. I have so many half finished posts, that start off as an excellent idea, become a labour of love, then I get bored and never finish them. My project over the next few weeks: get all those posts finished and up here. That is, if anyone still reads this. 

Time for me and Juan to start doing our blogs simultaneously at the weekend. He is so disciplined, I need to learn from him, it's no surprise 20jfg is so successful! Throw a pot of coffee in and that sounds like a nice way to spend a couple of hours...

May diary pages?

The Diary is still going strong, but I currently don't have access to a scanner, meaning the Diary Pages will be postponed until I can get to a scanner again. This may be a very long time...but I'll post retrospectively!
For now, here are some bad quality phone photos to whet your appetite.